Day 12: It’s Starting to Get Real Up In Here

14 Oct

I am writing this early in the day as my first big chemo dose runs.  I get two smaller doses later in the day, but I feel like I better go ahead and write while I have all my faculties about me.

I had pretty bad nausea yesterday and it was not well assisted by the odd smelling meal placed before me.  I had my first, and so far only, visit to the toilet to return a meal.  They have me weigh myself every morning and I have lost 2 kilos since beginning chemo.  This is to be expected, but I hope to not maintain the trend.  Today’s breakfast is sitting well with me and I have high hopes for lunch.

Other symptoms to report (look away if you are only here for funny updates. I have to keep it real for my HSCT peeps): After each morning’s run of chemo, I begin to get cramps in my belly that rival labor, only with no breaks like contractions.  The good doctor says these spasms mean the chemo is working.  They have a pill for that and it seems to help considerably, though there is a gas that follows that makes me wonder if maybe this is the real reason for isolation.  Many patients report severe diarrhea  but I have so far been gifted with constipation.  My hands are looking like old lady hands, from the drying out of the chemo, or perhaps the obsessive hand washing.  My legs are cramping up pretty bad with spasms, but this is like a symptom of MS that I’ve had for years and not really a new bother.

My personal goal while here is to be able to complete transcribing all my memorized Scripture into a journal.  I am having a tricky time of it, as my brain is in a fog and my hands don’t cooperate for longer than two -three paragraphs of writing (this is MS, not chemo.)  At this rate, I may not complete them all, but I am nearly through Ruth and getting much pleasure from revisiting her story.  I am so desperately hopeful to get to my Isaiah Scriptures after Ruth, as those words feed my soul like not much else can.

“Lift up your eyes to the heavens, look to the earth beneath; the heavens will vanish like smoke, the earth will wear out like a garment, and its inhabitants die like flies.  BUT, My salvation will last forever.  My righteousness WILL NEVER FAIL.”

Love you all.  Mean it.

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2 Responses to “Day 12: It’s Starting to Get Real Up In Here”

  1. Linda Luckstead Benskin October 14, 2012 at 6:19 am #

    Almost there! You can do this. You gained 10 pounds in anticipation of losing weight, and if your hands look like an old lady’s (like mine always do!) then much of that weight is water, which will come back quickly during the stem cell growth waiting period. You are doing great! Go ninja go!

  2. Pat Walt October 14, 2012 at 10:34 am #

    Our prayers (Women of the churches of Christ) are over 3400 strong, and we all are praying for you to be strong through this time. I am Stage IV breast cancer and I know exactly what you mean by the chemo brain fog. Keep your focus on God and the goal, you WILL make it through this. By the way, do you know how the little boy kept his pet spider from getting out of it’s cage? He changed it’s “web” address!! God Bless!

Honest Truth About Me: I'm going to need a lot of cheer leading to see this through. Your comments and encouragement mean the world to me.

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